Final Fantasy: Modern Warfare

Y'know what would help the moribund Final Fantasy franchise out? Relocating the action to a generic gray/brown desert/shantytown/psuedo-favela with stereotypical Middle Eastern Terrorists as baddies...



NOT for an actual game, thankfully, but rather a tech-demo for Squeenix's pretty amazing-looking new graphics engine. Still, I can't say it's not incredibly despressing to think about this particular aesthetic being picked up as "the way to go now" by Japanese developers. C'mon, guys... you're my last hope for this to NOT be the dominant setting/theme/palette for the entire fucking medium. You are NOT going to solve your own industry's stagnation problem by borrowing OUR industry's stagnation.

Also, jumping on the "generic-Muslim-looking-dudes-as-canon-fodder" bandwagon isn't helping ANYONE... though on the plus side maybe since it'll offer the chance to bag on a JRPG, perhaps this will cause Western Gaming to spontaneously realize that racism is a bad thing; much like how everyone was suddenly very concerned about the objectification of women in games once [REDACTED] gave them the opportunity to use it as a cudgle against The Wii?

Nah... thats just me talkin' crazy talk , right ;)

New Super Mario Bros. Wii U Revealed

Watch it HERE until I find an embeddable video. Standout reveals include a Flying Squirrel Suit, the return of Baby Yoshis and what looks like a new version of SMB3's Giant Land.

Okay, puppets - you know your roles. I wanna see a full-court show on this one. I wanna see bitching, I wanna see moaning, I wanna see faux eye-rolling, I wanna hear a billion different variations on "THIS ISN'T IMPORTANT! NOSTALGIA-BLIND FANBOYS ARE HOLDING THE WHOLE MEDIUM BACK!" ...oh, and someone please remember to pretend that being happy about a decades-old franchise making reference to it's past is "hypocrisy" if one has ever once taken issue with brand-new franchises barely changing from game-to-game.

We're all in this together, kiddos! Let's give the internet a show it won't forget!

I'd Buy It

Inspired by a Twitter exchange about whether or not the elephant-monster in the new "God of War" E3 trailer was supposed to be Ganesh, and the attendant prospect of Kratos engaging pantheon's of gods from still-active religions:

This Is The WiiU's "Hardcore" Controller

The big new shiny thing of the WiiU is it's tablet-controller (now officially christened "The WiiU Gamepad"), which combines a traditional dual-analog button scheme with a touchscreen that can "swap out" the monitor feed if someone else want to use the TV (and probably other stuff, too.)

Beyond that, all we'd heard about the system's interface was that you can bring your old Wii Remotes and peripherals to the party, too... but now we know that's not the only option. To the surprise of... well, few who follow this sort of thing (given how open Nintendo has been about getting 3rd parties back onto the reservation being a primary goal this gen) but to the relief of many - including me - as part of their pre-E3 video tease Nintendo revealed "The WiiU Pro" - which moves the Gamepad's button-layout (sans touchscreen) onto the framework of a more standard controller:

I've gotta say it: I'm glad to see this. I'm a bigger proponent of motion controls than a lot of people in games journalism, but it's true that it's not right for every situation and it's a wise decision on Nintendo's part to make the development of WiiU versions of multiplatform AAA titles as easy as possible on 3rd party developers. Now I'm hoping that the next reveal is "one of these AND the Gamepad are solid with the console."

Having dozens of different controller-types would've been a mistake for the original Wii in terms of confusing consumers, but if the idea now is that WiiU will use this or the Gamepad as it's primary interface with Remotes "from your old Wii" as an option it makes sense.

Now, then... who do I pay to mod one of these into black/gray/beige/red NES colors?

EPISODE 71: "Eulogii"

The new episode is now available for view by all audiences exclusively at ScrewAttack - more updates coming, but watch all the way to the end for information on the next "Mailbag" episode.

At this point, for some reason I can't embed the video. I'll fix that as soon as I'm able, but for now follow the link to ScrewAttack.

"Injustice" Is Probably Well Titled

I really, really liked NetherRealm's "Mortal Kombat" reboot, particularly on an aesthetic level - character animation wasn't so hot, but they NAILED the "dark-fantasy collage airbrushed on the side of some guy's van" art-style of oldschool MK games.

I have a feeling I'll be less enthused about their new DC Universe fighter, "Injustice: Gods Among Us," which appears to be ODing on awful 90s-style comic atmosphere and features character designs that suggest the art department was told: "Y'know how the New 52 looks have kind sucked for the most part? Well, we need them to suck MORE for this."

EPISODE 71 ANNOUNCEMENT

UPDATE: Technical issue has been resolved, my apologies for any confusion that may have arisen.
Here we go: EPISODE 71: "Eulogii" will go live for all-audiences this Sunday 6/2. ScrewAttack Advantage members, however, can get their usual early look starting, er... right now HERE.

ALSO: The big announcement made at the end of this one is that Episode 72 will be another MAILBAG... but this one will be exclusive to ScrewAttack G1's (read: members) who ask their questions in the comments-section under this episode (on the screwattack page, NOT HERE.) No, G1 isn't Advantage (i.e. it doesn't cost anything) and yes, we will do another for all-audiences soon.